


Anxiety

by seanpurrs



Series: Emotions [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 06:52:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5617462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seanpurrs/pseuds/seanpurrs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anxiety is an emotion characterized by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil. Anxiety is a feeling of fear, uneasiness, and worry, usually generalized and unfocused as an overreaction to a situation that is only subjectively seen as menacing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anxiety

Bokuto was lying in his bed, looking at his phone in the darkness of his room. According to his phone it was ten past two, and for some reason the time made the little moving dots on his phone seem worse than they would have during the day.

Akaashi had been typing and had stopped his typing at least 5 times now, and Bokuto started to get even more anxious. _What if he had gone too far this time?_

During training that evening he had had one of his moods again, although this one had been worse. Where he usually would just act defeated and asked not to get a toss until he felt better, he had now shouted at his team.

He felt his cheeks warm in shame as he thought back at Akaashi running off the field and their teammates keeping him from following after his setter. He hadn’t been able to seen his face, but it wasn’t anything like the younger boy to lose composure.

Bokuto didn’t even know why he had shouted. Why he had voiced doubts about his team when all his doubt had actually been about himself. He had apologized to his teammates after he had calmed down but he hadn’t been able to find Akaashi. 

That’s why he had sent Akaashi a message, or rather, multiple messages to apologize. He had spent 20 minutes typing out why he was sorry and why it was fucked up what he had done and how he would take it all back and how he didn’t ever doubt Akaashi’s tosses because Akaashi had better game sense and had a better idea of what to do at what moment and how much he valued his friend and setter.

And Akaashi had been typing, and had stopped typing. Again, and again.

Bokuto was getting more and more anxious.

And then a new message popped up.

_To be honest I was pretty scared, but probably not because of the reason you think. I got scared because normally we’re able to help you and it seems like you’re able to handle yourself pretty well, but this time it seemed worse, and I was scared that we were no longer able to help you. It seemed to me as if you had given up not only on us as a team but also on our ability to help you, and to keep the team going. And that hurt me a lot. That’s why I left._

_And because I left so soon I wasn’t able to hear your explanation. I wasn’t able to calm down enough to get my thoughts in order, which is why I’m replying only now._

_When you messaged me to apologize I had just started to calm down a bit and I was starting to believe that it might not have been our fault, that maybe you were just not having a good day. I still feel as if I was to blame, and because of that I can’t accept you apology properly, but I think that if we both apologize to each other we can cancel them out._

_So I’m sorry Bokuto, I’m sorry for not being there to help you. I’m sorry we, as a team, weren’t there in the way you needed us, when you needed us. I’m also sorry for running away from you instead of staying to help you. And most of all I’m sorry if you have been having a bad day, and sorry if I made it worse._

_2 am conversations aren’t really my thing._

_I’ll see you tomorrow, goodnight._


End file.
